GOING OUT? HERE’S HOW || HOW TO TELL YOUR PARENTS YOU’RE GOING OUT ||

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Preparing is the key to success. You have got to prepare beforehand, a year before, a month before, even a week before. But you can also always just barge in your living room – announce you are going out then storm off. Well, I’d rather you not.

This is how you should prepare for that moment; write your script, list possible comeback answers, and jot down reasons why they should allow you. Write everything related to that event you’re going to and why you should go there too, up until the things that are not related. Because, sweetheart, I’m telling you – even the things you wouldn’t think would ever come up, will definitely come back hunting you. Like when you did not pick up the fork that fell when you were 3 years old – the ever so little innocent you -- oh you would pay for that. They would bring up the fact that you should not be trusted because 16 years ago they trusted you with a glass of water and what did you do? You broke the glass, of course. And that’s why they wouldn’t let you. So be prepared, honey, be well armed.

Next, you have got to change. For once, you really have to change. Be sweet for a month; be nice for a few weeks. Do chores; help your siblings out! But remember, do it in front of your parents. What’s the point of playing nice when they would not see it, right? But then again, you can always bribe your little siblings to do the chores for you when your parents are not around. You can always claim you did it anyway. As for the youngest out there, I hope you could bribe your older siblings but we both know you couldn’t and you wouldn’t dare. Well, unto the next!

Tone is important. Darling, you have to be the sweetest honey that could ever exist. Lower your voice, hold their hands, and massage their heads so as to shake their brains with rational thoughts to finally allow you. Just go on and talk and talk and talk. Prove to them you are worthy of their trust that you can go out late at night and come back fine, as you’ll ever be. Convince them. Then let them talk, wait for that wonderful approval from your parents, the freedom you’ve been longing for. And as you hear the words come out from your father’s mouth – oh wait, scratch that – I meant a word, just one word – “NO”. Immediately, look at you precious mom, just look at her. Don’t you dare try to listen, sweetheart, it is for your own good. Look at her while she fires the gun and brings back the past even from the day you weren’t even born.

The last thing you should do is to look at your mom and then smile. Smile and then walk away. Go to your room, lock the door and lay down your bed.

Now it’s time to have a good night sleep, my dear.